About 3 weeks ago at Bible study, I was stunned by news from my dear friend Megyn that she was going to be returning to South Africa.  I knew that she’d have to go back at SOME point, but for some reason, I never thought it would be so soon

I met Megyn shortly after coming to Trinity and joining the EPIC group.  I immediately fell in love with her warm smile and radiant personality (what can I say? I’m a sucker for an accent )

At first I thought she was just visiting America for a couple of weeks.  I remember when I went off to LA, I asked her “Am I ever gonna see you again???”  She politely told me to chill . . . she’d be in America for quite some time. 

That time seems to have flown by, and it didn’t bother to ask me whether or not I was cool with that.  Time has a way of doing its own thing like that.  It’s rather annoying.

So when I found out she was going off, I helped plan a special goodbye dinner for her . . . at one of her favorite restaurants: the Cheesecake Factory.

After a scrumptious dinner, we went into the mall to pray for her, and yes, I admit, I shed a few.  And when I hugged her goodbye, I didn’t want to let her go.

Thing is, I don’t know why she affects me so much.  It’s not like we’ve stayed up late at night sharing our souls or anything.  There’s really nothing especially deep or close about our friendship.  I guess it’s just the way she makes me smile, just by her presence.  You can’t really underestimate how important that is. Well, *I* can’t anyway . . . when you spend as many nights as I do weeping, you tend to really enjoy the people who can put a smile on your face.  And Megyn is one of very few people that just brightens my day, just by talking to her. 

Megyn, I hope you get to read this.  I hope you have a safe flight home.  I pray that you’ll continue to be a blessing.  I’ll never forget you.  Thank you for being a source of joy for a man who’s constantly toiling. Thank you for being so kind, and always willing to laugh, even when I’m being completely idiotic.  You have no idea how much you’ll be missed here.  God bless you.  Hope you can return some day soon. {{{{HUG}}}}


In other news, I think I’m beginning to feel a lot more comfortable with my preceptor.  She’s a firecracker, for sure.  I’m not sure many Christians would be able to “handle” her . . . she’s pretty wild.  I mean, let’s face it, she makes ME uncomfortable sometimes!  It takes a lot to do that! LOL.

But I found something very comforting in her today.  I found a freedom to be me.  I found a way to see into her heart, and I think she and I really understand each other.

It’s kinda sad, really.  I feel more freedom to be me when I’m with her, yet I never seem to find this same freedom with Christians – not even ones I’m pretty close to.  I’m not sure why it is so many people are uncomfortable with being real. 

Though, I must admit there are a few exceptions to that rule.  Take my boy Ahmun, for example.  I had such a good time talking with him tonite after dinner.  It’s so refreshing to find a Christian who understands what sin is all about, what grace is all about, what love is all about, what righteousness is all about.  That’s why I hate the fact that he’s not really part of our Bible study anymore . . . because he’s really the only one that knows what it means to be real . . . he’s the only one I feel comfortable being me around.  I’m not sure how we landed on so many similar ways to view Christ, either – considering we come from COMPLETELY different backgrounds.  Yet, there’s rarely anything he says that I don’t agree with. 

It’s comforting to find a kindred spirit.  It’s comforting to know that there are some folks out there that get me.  That get “it”.  It gives me hope to continue building and growing within the Church – despite how many times I’ve been burned by the institution.  None of my non-Christian friends understand why I stick with it.  I can’t blame them for their lack of faith . . . I too find it hard to have much hope.  But thank God for the Ahmuns in the Church . . . they make me feel like it’s somehow worth the pain of the perpetual bruisings, because when you finally find that pearl, you know you’ll never let it go.  You can’t afford to.

Peace and love, my brothas and sistas.


7 thoughts on “

  1. Well, screw me.  I’m not real enough for you?  Ouch.  Up yours too!  🙂
    Yes, friends come and go and some hurt more than others when they go.  The tears depend on how long and deep the friendship was, but it’s for the best, even when it appears that God has lost His mind in choosing to allow the friendship to end.  He knows better than us.  I wish I knew that Megyn had her going-away dinner.  I’ll have to call her.  I’m going to miss her too.  And I only met her once.  I will definitely miss her accent.  🙂

  2. so what is it about those south african women anyway? i knew 2 south african ladies in college and i was completely intrigued by both of them. for one thing, the accent is totally sexy (and hard to imitate, too!). for another, they were both so easy to be with and emotionally unencumbered. that is such a rare and refreshing quality. maybe it’s a south african thing?
    on the second part of your entry, i salute you for taking a lickin’ and keepin’ on tickin with regards to getting burned by the “church”. it takes courage — a lot of courage — to put yourself out there, get either walked on, dissed, or else led on and then dropped, and then get back up and try it again.
    i am prayin for you bruh that having the strength to press on does not continue to be the primary reward you feel like you get in return for your labors. in other words, i hear you that it’s nice to know that God continues to sustain you, but that even that gets old after a while.
    by the way, when i do pray, i generally get quite a strong sense that God really does want you to know just how much you are loved. you are marked and your time is coming, my man.
    peace out,
    mikie j

  3. Hey Der,
    Just checking up on ya buddy. So, it looks like I am moving back to MD and I can’t wait to hang out with ya. I’ll call ya sometime this week. Oh and I was talking to the guy Mike that I met at the ex regional that use to go to clc. He seems pretty cool.
    Anyway, keep me posted. 

  4. I know what you mean about feeling more comfortable around nonChristians than Christians.  Of course, the Christian in me says it is because it gives us a chance to indulge our flesh… but what behaviors ARE we exhibiting around nonChristians that are so sinful?

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