Senioritis and other such things. . .



So I spent the last 4 hours in
the library writing up a paper.  The LAST paper I’ll ever have to
do for pharmacy school!  In all honesty, I think it sucks! 
It’s not up to my usual standards of thoroughness, but please ask me if
I care. No, seriously.  Ask me.



NO!  Of COURSE I don’t
care!  I’ve got major senioritis right about now!   I’m
reminded of my college days.  Me and my friend (and fellow-RA)
Patrice used to have this running joke.  We were both honors
students, and every once in awhile we’d get sick of being those majorly
anal, type A perfectionists and say “screw the work!”  And even in
those times when we’d put in 2 hours of work on a paper we should have
put in 8 hours for, we’d still get B’s.  This happened so often
that we considered changing the UMCP Honors motto to: “Honors
crap?  Still a B!”



Unfortunately, we were too lazy to ever propose the idea.  Whateva.



Other than that, I’ve been thinking through a lot of stuff.  What else is new?



I’ve tried to make some steps
toward committment.  Very small steps.  I have a tendancy to
talk a lot about what I want to do, and about future plans.  So
now, instead of just talking, I’m actually making real committments to
these things and putting my money where my mouth is.  For
instance, I was waffling on whether or not I should go to church this
Thursday evening, b/c I need to go home that night . . . but I just
decided to stop waffling and commit to going.  Hopefully, as I
remain faithful in these small things, I’ll learn how to not be so
scared of the bigger things – like finding a ministry to get involved
in at church!



Things are still going pretty
well, though there are times of insanity.  Yesterday was one of
those times.  Not sure why, but I was feeling majorly emotional,
highly untrusting, and overwhelmingly unloved yesterday.  It may
have been due to not getting enough sleep the last couple of nights,
and no doubt my allergy problems flaring up contributed to my poopy
mood, but the pain and confusion started to get intense.



I was reminded that God allows
us to go through such times because there’s something for us to
learn.  So instead of using the time to sulk about life, I drew
near to my Father.  It didn’t make the pain go away, but it gave
me some means to cope.  And it helps that I’m able to just be
completely needy and pathetic with Him.  I asked the Lord to help
me to find some love that night, and it came through in the way of
calls from good friends.  I’m truly blessed to
have such awesome friends.



In other news, I’m still
reading Leonard Sweet’s “Out of the Question . . . Into the
Mystery.”  He’s a bit too redundant in his points for my
taste.  It’s somewhat annoying.  Yet at the same time, I find
his insights so refreshing and his point of view has reminded me of how
a relationship with Christ should be.  I think I’m most fascinated
by his view of Abraham sacrificing Isaac, and how that whole event put
a damper on his relationship with God.  Very intriguing
stuff!  Never thought of it in the way Sweet lays it out.  We
tend to view old Abe as having this extraordinary faith, but Sweet
postulates that while his faith was strong in obedience, it was majorly
lacking in relationship – and after all, truth is much more about
relationship than it is about holding to a set of beliefs.  Very
good stuff



Aight, there’s more to say,
but again, I think it’s best kept for “CTP” status.  The promised
CTP report is coming soon, but bear with me folks.  I’m still
working with decreased online access.  It’s hard to dig up all the
emotional dirt when you’re in public, so bear with me if the updates
don’t come as frequently as usual (*coughDAVEcough*)



That’s all for now!



P.S.  Pray for a
brotha!  My court date (for my first ever speeding ticket) is set
for this Friday.  I hope the judge is merciful so I don’t have to
get points on my license!  Afterwards, my fam and I are headed to
Williamsburg.  Hopefully it’ll be a time for some good
connection.  Plus, there are some things that need to be said
between my brother and I, and I’m hoping it’ll come out this weekend.