New love . . .

So Santiago and I finally got to meet up on Friday night, and honestly, it was love at first sight!  He was all that I expected, plus some.  I didn’t think that we would hit it off so quickly, but we’ve totally bonded.  As a matter of fact, I think I’m a bit TOO comfortable with him, which I realize could be dangerous . . . so I’m keeping my wits about me and making sure to vigilantly watch before making any bad moves.

Diem joined us on Saturday, and we had a GREAT time!  She has lovingly nicknamed him Pablo, but I think Divya would be very upset at me if I took to calling him that.  Anyway, Diem and I had some good times shoppin’, eatin’, and chillin’ . . . which we do best.  Then we caught a late-night show of “Brokeback Mountain”. 

I thought the movie was really, really good.  Very sad, and certainly a lot to emotionally process, however, I didn’t find it to be nearly as depressing as I thought, nor did I see what all the controversy was about.  It’s the tamest gay film I’ve ever seen.  I give it 2 thumbs up . . . though I’m not positive that it deserves all its recent accolades.

Sunday was good times at church.  Our new pastor – Matthew Dyer – taught his first tag-team sermon w/ Brian.  So far, so good.  He’s a cool guy.  And everyone knows I’m a sucker for a Brittish accent   I’m hoping for good times ahead.  I know there are gonna be some changes at CRCC – which does frighten me slightly – but thankfully, I haven’t been around long enough for me to be overly attached to “the way things are”.

Anywwho . . . the other Pablo is calling.  Must take this.  Ciao for now, folks!

By the by . . . my voice is slowly coming back, so all those folks who have been calling . . . I should be able to return calls soon.  Lata!


Survived . . .

Well, I survived the weekend.  It was no small task!  At the last minute, all my plans got overturned, but new plans materialized quite rapidly. 

Friday night was AWESOME!  Cedar Ridge held a Hurricane Katrina benefit concert for our church’s continuing aid in the south.  Forget Reason played – and they were AMAZING.  Rob Wells has such a versatile voice.  I’m super, super jealous!  But the absolute best part of the evening was the Mt. Calvary Baptist Choir!  It’s been like 3 years since I was at my home church, and thus 3 years since I’ve heard real, live Gospel music, and they were hot!  I felt so at home.  Dang, I miss Gospel   Later, I hung out w/ some of the CRCC young adult ladies and we had a nice dinner together. 

Saturday was a surprise bday party for one of my co-workers, then me and Diem went to check out “Underworld: Evolution”.  The movie was aight.  I’ll withhold judgement for now, b/c I thought the first one sucked when I saw it in the theaters, but fell in love with it later on.  Perhaps the same will happen the sequel.  The best part of the evening, however, was good times w/ Diem.  You’re a special girl, ya know that?  Thanks for sharing your heart with me.  I do indeed consider it quite a privilege.

Big shout-out to J-man!  Yo, sorry I didn’t call you back.  I meant to call you to invite you to Arundel Mills to see the movie w/ Diem and I, but Audrey told me you had plans to go bowling or something, and then I got caught up in coordinating crap w/ Diem.

Anywho, yesterday was pretty cool.  Church was great.  It was sort of a “farewll to Brian” from the Church.  Then I went to lunch w/ the other high school ministry leaders . . . followed by some good times w/ Rephael.  Hope I didn’t scare you too much, bro.  It’s been quite a revealing weekend!   But I do thank you for the love.  The evening was spent watching “Two for the Money” – which was actually VERY good, with some profound insights on addictions – and on the phone with various other people reveling in even more revelations (CTP!)

This week is looking pretty booked already.  I’m gonna see Lance tonite, followed by some time w/ Nat.  Tomorrow night I think I have a date!  (more on that . . . CTP).  And I’m hoping to catch up with my dearest Jane, who doesn’t get NEARLY enough love from me on Xanga these days, so this one’s for you, babe!   Love ya!

Peace out, homies.

Needy . . .

Yeah, this is one of those days when I’m feeling ultra needy.  I’ve had WAY too much going on the last few days.  I was at work for 12 hours yesterday!  And now that it’s all over, I feel like I need to just crash . . . physically and emotionally

I need distractions for this weekend.  Good times and good fun.  Something to either help me get my mind off of things, or help me focus on things poignantly and beneficially.

Suggestions will be accepted and appreciated

“Invisible Children” . . .

Wow.  Holy shit.  I just got through watching “Invisible Children” – a documentary about civil war in Uganda, and innumerable children abducted and brainwashed to fight a rebel cause

In times like these, I’m simply overwhelmed.  Certainly this movie brought me to tears – heavy tears.  But the heaviest deluge occured just a few minutes after viewing the film.  Because I sit back and wonder . . . why don’t we do anything about this?  Why do give such selective attention to world problems?  And on this day when we celebrate one of the most courageous Americans in history – Martin Luther King, Jr. – I can’t help but underscore that we almost exclusively select the lighter skinned, underprivileged people of the world to aid  

Subtle racism aside, my heart has a much deeper ache.  There are times when I can manage to catch a glimpse of the global pattern of sin and destruction, and I feel . . . hopeless.  I’m inspired to play my part, lend succor to victims of tragedy, sign up at the local food kitchen, etc. . . but it’s all worthless isn’t it? 

Lies beget lies.  Hate begets hate.  It’s like a fine woven shirt coming apart at the seems.  You manage to patch up one loose string, but a tug on the adjacent one shows the tattered material for what it’s worth.  The problem is SO BIG.  Do you see that?  There’s SO MANY issues to focus on . . . SO MANY people that need help.  Perhaps this is why the typical American just throws up his/her hands and chooses apathy as their response.

Hell, maybe it was just a moment of existential angst – inspired by the ancient writings in Ecclesiastes (which I’ve been reading in my devotions lately).

But after a moment of sheer terror and profuse weeping, I seemed to remember this idea of a better system.  The “Kingdom of God”.  It truly is the only hope I have.  Yet, even with the promise of a better way, I can’t help but feel slightly somber.  Is it really possible to reverse the course of nature? 

Jesus, please be more than just a fantasy in my head.  Otherwise, we’re all lost . . .

In the meantime, it’s time for us to stop making excuses, get our heads out of our own asses, and start fighting for the weak.  That’s the mission Christ called us to.  There’s gotta be a reason for it.


Expectancy muddled by perfectionism and all its demons, gives way to indulgence.  And after a few strokes across the face by Father Time, darkness descends, blanketing every thought, every word, every imagination.  Numb.  The result is emptiness.  There must be an answer here.  Clinging to hope seems rational, but exhausting.  Can faith overcome?  No.  It’s not enough.  Only God . . . only Him.

I’m still numb.  What happens when Spring comes late?

Regardless, I’ve had some good times this last week.  Special thanks go out to Nicole, Jonathan, and Diem for those


When viruses attack . . .

So the past few days have been good in a Jesus kinda way, but I’ve also had quite a bit to cope with emotionally.  I was spared getting the flu – despite early signs that I would get a full-blown illness.  But by God’s grace, some good prayers, and a LOT of Airborne and Echinacea, all my symptoms went away very quickly. Woohoo!  But my computer was not so lucky   It was probably a good thing, anyway, what with all the emotional difficulties recently.  It’s forced me to get out and about a bit more, and spend some more time with Jesus.  Sooo . . .I’ve got plans for everday this week except tomorrow evening (post-Lance).  Gotta figure out something to do so I don’t go too stir-crazy

Oh, and the time is drawing near . . . can you feel it?

I can!!  YAY!!!

Updates on life . . .

Dearest friends,

I’ve already received one complaint about the paucity of posts lately.  Please forgive me   With the holidays and such, I haven’t had a whole lot of time for online activities.  But more than that, I’ve been keeping a lot of my questions, struggles, and journies on the DL for various reasons (which I will enumerate in the protected post below).  I debated whether or not to include this life update of sorts in public view . . . but, I’m not sure I want my business all over the place like that.  Plus, there are some folks who simply couldn’t handle where I’m at right now.  I have, however, been sharing bits and pieces with many of you over the course of the last couple of months.  CTP for the expanded version.

Thanx a bunch.  God bless!

D.J. Free!