New Year’s Celebration?

Yeah, so right about now I should have been on a Greyhound headed up to good ol’ NYC.  It was supposed to be the trip to top last year’s infamous NYC New Year’s Dance The Night Away celebration!  However, I’ve been falling more and more behind in work, and couldn’t afford to spend an entire weekend away

It was supposed to be a really good time, too.  Adrienne’s friend managed to get us into 40/40 (a club owned by Jay-Z), and dropped 2K to get us a private booth!  Wowzas!!  So all we had to do was come up w/ $150 to pay for the general admission, and we were set for a slammin’ good time!  Except that at the last minute, they upped the price of those private booths, so we all lost out on the deal.  Not that it matters, b/c I can’t go anyway

So yeah, I pretty much have no plans for New Year’s.  I’ve managed to get a lot of my work done, so I’d still ideally like to do something on New Year’s Eve, but . . .

All over the map . . .

It’s been a wild ride in life lately.  Been busy as hell at work, w/ more and more tasks being piled on me, but less and less time until those deadline dates slap me in the face! 

Christmas was pretty good, except that I was in agony much of my time at home.  Not induced (much) by my family this time though   Actually, I had a pretty decent time with the fam.  Though, I’ve been facing a lot of tough emotions that I’d rather not – and certainly didn’t have the freedom to express with my family.

But Christmas day was mostly a very good thing.  I got some diamond studs for the ol’ earlobes, and they look HAWT! So now, I’m actually gonna have to go through the process of getting the right ear pierced, so that I can bling properly

Post-Christmas has actually been spent trying to make some sense of the world.  I had a frank conversation with a very beloved friend a couple days ago, and it’s left me a little off-kilter.  I find myself being both giddy, and horrified at the same moment.  I’m still not sure what to make of it all.

And I worry about him quite a bit, hoping for nothing but the best, but also knowing that the questions he’s asking right now are the sorts of questions that can tear you up inside   I wish I could be there for him more – to just be around him and wrestle together. . . but then, sometimes it’s best to just let go . . .

I dunno.  I guess I’m aching . . . it’s hard to concentrate on my work.  I’m drowning in these assignments.  I’m feeling a little lost.  I know I’ll survive.  But it sure would be nice to have my counselor around right about now!  

Integrative postmodernism . . .

So I just read this GREAT article on theooze.com . . . an article I swear I could have written myself about my journey through postmodernism and Christianity.  It’s honest, hilarious, and poignant at the same time.  You should totally check it out!

In other news, I started working at an outpatient clinic yesterday.  It’s one of the inner city clinics (People’s Community Health).  One of the clinical faculty members just started working with this chain a few months ago, and it was not long before she realized that FAR too many of her patients had concurrment mental health issues along with their somatic concerns, so she pulled my preceptor in to start doing some psychiatric med management. 

So I will be spending most Monday mornings for the next 6 months at this clinic.  It’s really cool stuff (from a pharmacological/pharmaceutical perspective), b/c it’s nice to apply my skills in a practical kinda way.  But there’s this wonderful spiritual element to it too. I just feel so connected to the life of the community, and God is showing me the beauty of all his children: short or tall, fat or skinny, amiable or ornery, sick or “well” (as if anyone is really well ).

And lastly, yesterday was yet another really mind-blowing sessoin with Lance.  I’m usually well aware of what it is I want to discuss at my sessions, but the last 2 weeks, he’s managed to unearth sooooo much stuff I never even knew was there!

There ought to be a nice protected post about it in a couple days – when I’ve had some time to figure out a coherent way to share what’s been unearthed.

 

 

Foggy . . .

We’ve had some bizarre weather this past week.  For 2 days, we had some really intense fog.  The cool thing about living in Mt. Washington, is that there are so many hills and valleys, and when there are disparate patches of fog in said valleys, it makes the whole place seem . . . magical.

As I was driving to work on Thursday, there were places where you could distinctly see the fog lift.  I’ve never in my life seen this before.  It was marvellous!

It got me to thinking a lot about how this landscape is much like the landscape of our souls.  There are areas where there’s fog, and areas where things are all quite clear.  And then there are areas where we’re just growing . . . where the fog is lifting, and we can suddenly see things that weren’t quite visible before.  It makes the whole scene quite beautiful . . . at least to me

For the personal applications of that, CTP below!!

She drew blood . . .

Yup, I sustained my first injury in the psych world today.  Actually, I’m surprised this is only the first time I’ve been “assaulted”, considering the population I work with daily.

So today, My preceptor and I were running a TD Clinic (TD = tardive dyskinesia, one of the horrible movement disorders we must monitor for in patients receiving antipsychotics).  We had one patient who kept stating “I want back”, with the most intense, forlorn look in her eyes   It broke my heart.  I wanted nothing more than to get the exam done with so we could send her back on her merry way to her cottage. 

After I finished rotating her arm at the shoulder, I gingerly placed her forearm back in her lap, at which time she proceeded to reach across and grab my hand with her other arm.  This would have been perfectly fine, if she had not tightly gripped and scratched the HELL out of my hand as she once again stated “I want back”. 

After an oxymoronic silent yelp, I calmly walked to the sink to attend to my wounds.

We finished the rest of the exam without much problem.  I guess it’s all in a day’s work . . .

Anyway, I need to get going.  I’ve gotta get Santiago all checked out.  He’s still sexy as hell, but it’s about time for a tune-up.  I’ve ridden him pretty hard since this residency started. (What can I say? I’m insatiable!  18,000 miles!)

In other news, I had an AWESOME dinner last night w/ my preceptor from my last rotation (the infamous “Dearest Kelly”).  She treated me to a great meal at Saffron – and even sprung for a bottle of wine!  Needless to say, I think we both left w/ a nice buzz, and great times shared   She’s a very bad influence on me, however . . . she wants me to just go make out w/ lots of people.  Meh.  I’m not all that excited about it, but we’ll see

Eesh.  Now I’m pining

That is all . . .

Uneventful . . .

I have nothing remarkable to divulge today.  I just feel the need to write because it’s been awhile.  Things have been fairly low-key as of late. 

I had a pretty good weekend – my relationship status notwithstanding.  I’ve been feeling wickedly lonely the last couple of days   But other than that, I’m surviving. 

I got a lot of work done Saturday, and had a good time at church yesterday.  We did an interactive reading of some passages in Luke (I did the reading for the angel Gabriel).  ‘Twas cool – except that my mic wasn’t working in the second service!  No fear, though, I have a booming voice when I want to, so I just projected, and my back-row friends said they heard me just fine

I’m in a very malleable place emotionally, so I’m still soaking up a lot of stuff in my readings.  Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the nature of God (specifically Jesus) and whether or not he needs to be God in order for this whole “salvation of the world” thing to work out. 

Also, my view of the Bible has changed drastically over the last couple of years . . . but lest I lose any respect for the (authentic) text, I’ve decided to start a good book from a theologian I respect tremendously: N.T. Wright’s “The Last Word”.  It’s really interesting so far.  He seems to see beyond both modern and postmodern understandings, and attempts to argue for a culturally transcendent understanding, while at the same time trying to engage the unique 21st Century questions about what it means to be a sincere follower of Jesus.  Profound.

Sometimes I fear that I’m getting SO wrapped up in all these cognitive pursuits, that I’m neglecting the real life needs of those in the world less fortunate than I (e.g., I haven’t gotten a good update on the situation in Darfur in well over a couple of weeks).  Eesh.  But then again, I still manage to cry at all the images of beauty I see in the “mundane” things (like completely sobbing during church, or while watching “Superman Returns” (don’t ask!)), so I suppose my heart is still engaged in the world.  Good thing. 

I do wonder why we tend to go through these strange phases of inward and outward concerns in our spiritual journeys?  Very strange . . .

Anyway, I need to get back to pretending I’m doing work