I’ve made no secrets, nor had any qualms about my absolute disdain for Abercrombie and Fitch. For years, the store taunted me with it’s nearly-gay ads of mostly-naked, ever-elusive, overly-gorgeous young men. (Can you imagine how torturous a simple trek to the local A&F would be to a poor hormone-driven, angst-ridden little fella in denial about his sexuality, or to the aspiring (albeit failed) “ex-gay” young man?!!)
Not to mention the shallow nature of their hiring process. Ever notice how attractive the employees look? It’s no mere coincidence. It’s within the management’s culture to not hire any “ugly” people.
SIDE NOTE – I’m sorry if this is shocking news to you, or worse, you’ve been turned down for a job there (yes, that means the more shocking news to you is that you’re probably not very pretty . . . at least in their standards. If it’s any consolation, *I* think you’re BEUA-ti-FUL! ) – END SIDE NOTE
In short, A&F is Lucifer in retail form.
Much to my chagrin, my good friend Adrienne took a job with them a few years ago, and because of her overt hotness, she’s moved up in the ranks. Not to mention that there was a big push for them to not look so darn racist, so Adrienne’s African-American-ness also gave her token status, and therefore further launched her managerial ascent.
But I’ve been looking high and low for a decent pair of jeans that fit. After a long evening at a myriad of stores, and various dressing rooms, I decided to step into the devil’s lair just to see if they had anything for me.
Wouldn’t you know that I found the most comfortable pair of jeans that I’ve tried on in YEARS? I walked out of the store empty-handed, head hanging low, afraid for what this meant for me. I mean, the tragedy! The indignity! The irony! (Well, in an Alanis Morisette sort of way, at least.)
I won’t build the suspense any longer. I’ll admit it. (But please, please, PLEASE GOD! Don’t hold it against me!) I went back an hour later and bought the jeans
So w/o further ado . . .I introduce to you . . . the Kilburn Low Rise Bootcut Dark Wash Jeans:
Lord have mercy on my soul . . .