So it’s been FOREVER since I made a post! I can hardly believe it myself. Not long ago, I was so emotionally fragile, that staying glued online and making Xanga posts was my only therapy and catharsis. I guess after 4 years of counseling, I’ve developed other (perhaps healthier?) methods to deal with the stressors and woes of life.
Soooo . . . what’s been going on? Here’s the reader’s digest version:
I’ve been spending tons and tons of time reading, thinking, praying, reflecting, and in general stressing about matters of sexuality and spirituality. This is in large part due to a very special guy in my life. A *ahem* “boyfriend” of sorts All I can really say about that is he’s probably the person on the planet for whom I have the most love and respect at the moment. He has the ability to both touch and hurt my heart in the mundane and profound things that he does daily. (But he touches my heart FAR more than he hurts it. That’s the thing about love, isn’t it?)
For the past little while, there’s been a growing feeling inside me that my job simply didn’t resonate with my heart. I’ve grown rather uncomfortable and unhappy at work, with all the deadlines and administrative responsibilities. It got super discouraging for a few weeks. But then I remembered a little lesson that Brian McLaren taught a few months ago, when he encouraged us to be thankful. So I started just really thanking God for the things about my job that I do enjoy: great salary (helping me pay off the debt!), interesting work, opportunities to engage my mind, etc. The slight change in attitude changed the entire landscape! I can’t say that I’m any bit more willing to stay at this job though. I even picked up a Meyers-Briggs book, and looked through the good careers for INFPs. Interestingly, many of the jobs listed were jobs that I thought deeply about over the years, but neglected them for more lucrative opportunities in pharmacy. Do I regret that now? Perhaps. But I’m still quite proud of my accomplishments.
So I’m keeping my eyes and ears open for what God calls me to next. Could it be a change in position? Perhaps taking up a clinical position at the Baltimore VA Hospital? Or perhaps a shift in my current career, taking on a more academia bent? Or perhaps a grand slide into another career altogether? Not sure. Like I said, my heart is open.
I was driving home from work the other day, and as I was approaching 695, all the cars were slowing down on the exit. I immediately got angry (yes, yes, we all know how impatient I am!). But then I realized the reason for the halting traffic: a family of geese was on the side of road about to cross onto a major highway at rush hour!
Seriously, it was one of the most horrific things I’ve seen in months. The mommy and daddy led their 6 poor chicks across the highway, and literally they got picked off one by one One compassionate lady pulled over to the side of the road (and I followed her not long after), got out a box, crossed onto the highway (yes, it was dangerous!!) and managed to save 2 of the chicks! One of the adult geese was hit a bit, but somehow managed to survive. She followed us to the shoulder, and began pacing and quacking – as if in a daze. The rescuer, another kind lady, and I all began to commiserate about what to do with this distraught parent and little chicks. I tried to call the most environmentally conscious guy I know (Brian McLaren) for some advice, but to no avail. He wasn’t home.
The rescuer considered trying to coax the adult goose into the car w/ the box of chicks so she could take them to a nearby park. But that probably would have resulted in a far worse accident when it was all said and done! Eventually, the poor parent made a decision for us, as she (he?) flew off across the highway. The rescue lady took the chicks, and was hopefully able to find an adoptive home for the little guys at a nearby park with lots of geese.
It was quite a traumatic experience. As I drove away, I began to sob quite a bit. I’m not sure why I get so emo over little animals. I have these little flashbacks about the whole incident, and it took me 2 days to get over it. It’s all good now. But it has taught me to slow down, and really breathe in life. I don’t think we ever know what we’re missing in our hustle and bustle ways, and we sometimes pulverize innocent creation in the process.
Really cool vid about the democratic race!<A href="http://www.xanga.com/private/