Groovy weekend . . .

So I’ve had a really good weekend so far.  Yesterday was a pretty full day, despite the fact that I had no school.  But I finished most of my application for my pharm license and for the NAPLEX exam.  Then went to see Lance, came back and voted for the new Kappa Psi exec board, then went to meet my boy Chris at Zone (the high school/college group at my church that I sit in on from time to time so that I can pretend to be young again ) 

I don’t like saying it, but the worship SUCKED, and PK wasn’t doing the teaching . . . plus I was hungry, so me and Chris jetted.  Went to get some dinner instead, and got to catch up on each others’ lives.  SUCH a good time!  We got to talk some pretty deep, serious stuff.  He’s a major encouragement to me, despite the fact that he’s going through some pretty heavy shit himself.

I just got back from hanging out w/ some old college friends.  Have I ever mentioned how much I love Lina, Chanelle, Wes, and Adrienne? I don’t get to talk about them much, because I rarely get to see them.  But when we get together, it’s like we haven’t skipped a beat.  Granted, it’s a little strange, b/c we used to hang out together all the time, so it sucks not knowing what’s going on in their lives.  But we have soooo much fun when we’re together (except for that rocky time after we graduated . . . but barring that, all is beautiful )

On the drive home, I was thinking about quite a bit.  I guess it’s fair to say that I’m living in an utter state of confusion.  I’m singing the same song I’ve been singing for the last couple of months . . . but it’s SUCH a catchy chorus, wouldn’t you say?

Yeah, everything just seems so unstable . . . and unsure.  Nothing is finalized.  And while I’m not necessarily “worried” about that, I’m not confident and perfectly at peace about it either.

Then of course, if you’ve been CTP, there are all those issues.  And as I gingerly maneuvered through the rainy streets, I had to admit to myself that I’m hurt.  Just really, really hurt . . . by a lot of things and a lot of people.  I’m not sure when or how that will get addressed and/or healed, but I’m really glad it’s not accompanied by the same depression and emptiness that surfaced the last year and a half of my life. 

So I’m moving on.  Living my life.  Finding the authentic Jesus, and what He wants from me.  Trying to find out what’s really important . . . what’s really worth investing in.  It’s not easy, but I think I’m finally starting to see it.  I’m finally starting to understand the difference b/w those who love me, and those who use me; those who are genuinely interested in my life, and those who only say they are just to save face.  I’m starting to learn not to sweat the small stuff.  I’m starting to learn how to not focus on the symptoms, and set my attention on the problems.

Speaking of which, I think I’m gonna go back to seeing Lance weekly.  There are simply too many thoughts and events that occur in a 2 week period.  So he and I agreed that weekly sessions might be best, while I’m figuring out these important things.

Anywho . . . I better get to bed.  Gotta get up for church tomorrow.  Once again, I’m gonna try to do the Cedar Ridge thing . . . we’ll see if I can wake up! 

But I did finally get McLaren’s latest book (no thanks to Borders!).  It’ll be awhile before I get to it though, because I’m currently reading 2 other books.  So I’ll letcha know how it is when I actually get to read it.

Peace and Love,

D.J.